Jennifer Jareau: Guide and Owner's Manual
by Erestory
Summary: Wondering whats with the baby book? She won't let you buy a large dog and can't figure out why? Read the blasted manual.


Jennifer Jareau: Guide and Owner's Manual

Congratulations!

You are now the owner of a fully automated **JJ **unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your professional profiler, please pay close attention to the following instructions.

**Basic Information: **

**Name: **Jennifer Jareau

**Date Of Manufacture: **Year of 1978

**Place Of Manufacture: **C&M, Pittsburgh

**Height: **Around 5'7"

**Weight: **Unknown

**Your **_**JJ **_**unit will come with the following accessories:**

Two casual outfits

Two pairs of shoes

Bundle of Baby books

FBI badge

I pad

When you first open your **JJ **unit, she may be shy and tense. Show her your home and let her get to know everything.

**Programming:**

Your **JJ** unit is kind and nurturing, and can carry out the following functions:

**Liaison: **No matter if it's the local newspaper or middle school announcements, your JJ will get the word out and handle the mass with absolute ease.

**Shooting Trainer: S**he is not a profiler but an excellent guns-woman. Buy a gun and she will have you shooting objects in the head in no time.

**Sister-Sister: Sh**e's pretty open and kind, but if your ready, you guys will paint the town and buy from all the shops so make sure you bring a lot of money and a lot of laughter.

**Babysitter: **As the **JJ **unit is a natural mother, she is very motherly and love to look after the little tykes. So sit back, date, and have a lot of fun while your unit keep the kids safe and most importantly occupied.

**Your JJ unit comes with Cleaning: **The **JJ **unit is fully capable of cleaning herself. She will also keep the house clean for you.

**Five different modes:**

Mother

Liaison

Friendly

Shooter

Guardian

The default **Mother** mode is when a child is nearby or one of her loved ones need some love whether it's maternal or sibling.

The **friendly** mode is activated whenever the **JJ** gets familiar with, meets or trusts someone. She will talk more, drink and dance on the dance floor.

**Liaison** mode is activated when the **JJ **unit has to deal with the media at any point of time.

The Shooter mode is activated when people are in danger because of a **James Colby Baylor/Jason Clark Battle unit.**

The Guardian mode is only activated if the **JJ **feels that someone is endanger especially **BAU** units.

_**Reaction to other units:**_

**Aaron Hotchner**: This unit is a friend **JJ** Unit.

**Derek Morgan**: This unit is a close friend, but may annoy **JJ **when he messes with Spencerunits.

**Jason Gideon**: This unit is a respectable figure to the **JJ.**

**Elle Greenaway**: These units are friends.

**David Rossi**: This unit is a friend, and is admired by the **JJ** unit. She may be occasionally annoyed by **Rossi** but not often.

**Emily Prentiss**: These units are friends and they will spend a lot of time shopping together.

**Spencer Reid**: This unit is good friends with your unit. He will grow a crush on **JJ** but he'll get over it.

**Penelope Garcia**: She is one of the **JJ** unit's closes friends and the godmother to her child. No harm in leaving them together.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

**Q: **My **JJ **unit is always signing and watching couples holding hands instead of focusing on any conversations. What is wrong with her?

**A: **The JJ must desire companionship or love. Get a **William LaMontagne Jr**unit and you will notice improvement in her focusing….just not in you.

**Q: **My unit has been acting strange for months and just disappeared for two days and she is carting around a baby, which my **Spencer** and **Garcia** units are smothering. But where did she get a baby?

**A: JJ** must have been hanging around a **William LaMontagne Jr** unit a lot. You some how missed her **9 months **of pregnancy. And of course the other units are over the baby since they are his godparents.

**Q: JJ** is extremely sad and is packing her stuff. All my other units are just as sad and I ended up buying all the ice cream at the corner store. What in the word is going on?

**A: **She is most likely being forced to go work at the pentagon against the wishes. Just dish up the ice cream and wait it out.

**Q: **The team has just finished a case about suspicious suicides and my unit seems really messed up. What happened?

**A: **Her sister unit committed suicide. How do you expect her to react?

**Q: ** My **Spencer **and **JJ **have gone out on a date and I am concerned about what this is going to do to her boyfriend. What shall I do?

**A: **Nothing serious is going to come out of **JJ** and **Spencer** going to a game. So sit back and chill.

**Q: **My mother bought me a large dog, which I named Scooby. But when my **JJ **unit saw it she freaked and locked herself in her room. What made her so scared?

**A: **When the team was chasing a Tobias Hankel she was attacked by a pack of dogs. Until she get use to scooby, better to keep the dog away.

**Warranty: **With proper care, the **JJ **unit will grow old and eventually die, unless a unsub or accident kills her. However, if you get annoyed with the mother hen, you can always send her back to our company for a full refund (within 12 months of purchase).


End file.
